Thursday 12 June 2014

Scotlands trolls

I won't be sharing which way I'll be voting on the 18th of September and to be honest, I'm not interested on how anyone else is voting, not even my husband. It's a private decision, everyone is entitled to vote however they want and they are also entitled to share that opinion or keep it to themselves.
What I would like to share is how sad and ashamed I feel at the moment. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but no one is entitled to abuse another person because they don't agree with their opinion.
It saddens me that some people will verbally abuse others on social media just because they have a different opinion. I doubt they would do the same to their face. Whether you are voting yes, no or aren't eligible to vote, your opinion matters. This referendum affects everyone that lives in the UK and we should not be vilifying someone for sharing their opinion.
I'm sick of the mud slinging from both parties, I'm sick of the trolls abusing anyone and everyone. It saddens me that a friend can't share their thoughts without another 'friend' abusing them.
Scotland is a great country and I am so proud to call myself Scottish. Let's have an open and honest debate on how we can make it even better. Keep the nasty personal bitching to yourselves. No one should care how another person is voting and abusing them will not change their opinion.
No matter what the result is on the 18th September we all have to live together in this great country and it's down to all of us to make the positive changes.
The world is watching us - Politicians, stop lying to us, stop baffling us with conflicting information, stop abusing the opposition and the ordinary voters, tell us the facts and get them right! Voters, start debating and stop trolling.
I no longer want to hang my head in shame, lets show the world how we can have a positive debate without resorting to abuse.

Tuesday 5 November 2013

Ye cannae teach an old dog new tricks

Most people when they have a mid life crisis by a sports car. I'm to cheap for that so I bought myself a pair of skates. And I love my skates, not only are they pretty I've finally found a sport that is fun.
Not content with my weekly skates on the Largs Prominade with Largs Roller Coasters, when I saw that a new Roller Derby league was being created in Irvine my first thoughts were, I'm up for that.

Now my experience of Roller Derby is watching Whip IT, I'd never even been to a live bout. In fact I didn't even know it was called a bout! So you can imagine how unprepared I was.

So I announced to the world I was going to do Roller Derby. I had a fantastic response from most folk, I was also declared a nutter! At this point I could only skate in a straight line. I couldn't stop without battering in to an object. I was unfit and I have gubbed knees. I was in perfect shape for Roller Derby, wasn't I?

10 days before the 1st skating session I was so excited. By the time it came to the day of the skating session I was terrified! I was so scared I was making myself ill. What was I thinking?! I can't do Roller Derby, I'm 39 for fucks sake not 19! I have 2 young kids, a house to run and a full time job. I must be off my trolly.

If I hadn't been getting lots of messages on Facebook wishing me luck I would have never went. So with my cute Rio's and my mouth-guard off I headed to my first ever Roller Derby session. Any sane person would have been put off with the need for a mouth-guard.

You can imagine my brain on the day of the skate session. Will everyone be brilliant skaters? Will the session be full of youngsters? I already had my wrist in a splint after a spectacular launch on the promenade and I shouldn't even have been skating. What if I broke something? Am I too old to pop my roller derby cherry?

I'm actually really proud of myself. Despite my utter fear I did it, my cherry has been popped! The Ayrshire Roller Derby girls were lovely and made me feel welcome. I was no worse or better than everyone else. I was still terrified during the session, it takes a while for that pure terror to drain out of you.

I would recommend it to anyone that wants to learn how to skate well. I've learned so much over the last few weeks. I'm learning how to stop and how to fall correctly. I'm determined to learn how to do transitions and I'm loving how skull crushers are firming up my thighs. Listen to me getting down with the kids with all the roller derby lingo! I'm still rubbish but these things take time. Even if you don't fancy the high impact of roller derby you should definitely give it a try. You could always become a referee.

I'm now waiting on my new derby skates arriving. No longer can I ask why my husband needs all those guitars, he can only play one at a time!

Come on everyone get your skates on and either come for a recreational skate with Largs Roller Coasters or come and learn all the skating moves with Ayrshire Roller Derby!



Sunday 6 January 2013

New Year, New Me!

I don't do New Years resolutions but since I'm starting to look like I've got two sets of breasts and the only exercise I get is when I walk to the back door to let the dog out, I thought it was about time I got off my lazy fat arse and did something about it. So today is the day, for the last week I've got in to training by eating up all the unhealthy food in the house, and ordered in even more.

Day One

I got off to a great start. I promised myself I would get out of bed at 8 when Derren got up, I managed to drag my sorry arse out of bed at 9:30, yeah me! Before my shower I completed my first aerobic work out, go me! The DVD was called Start it up, if this is for beginners god help me when I have to move on to Ramp it up then again on to Burn it up! But I did it, and I'm a little bit proud, only a little as the hardest bit is doing it again tomorrow then again the next day. I even managed to keep to a healthy diet although I need to work on the food. I need to find some healthy filling food as I'm starving and the dog biscuits are looking tempting. Anyone got any tips on what I can eat to fill me up? I also need to work on the water drinking as I usually get most of my fluids from wine, but I'm on the wagon for January. I even managed a brisk walk with the dog, she's not going to know what hit her over the next few weeks. There was some funny noises coming from her, it sounded like she was chewing on stones although the noise could have been coming from my knees.

I promised myself I would get up at 6 tomorrow and do my work out before heading to work, ha ha ha ha! Check back tomorrow to see if I made, it's in black and green now so I need to do it. I need to lose 20lbs and too many inches to count in 6 weeks. Any encouragement is welcome. I'm putting my feet up now for a well deserved rest and ogle at Alex O'Loughlin.

Day Two

Well it's 7am, I had a rotten nights sleep which wasn't helped by the strange noises coming from Allan. So did I get up at 6 or not? The alarm went off at 6 and I sprung out of bed with enthusiasm! Not really, I did get up and do my work out but it was hard work dragging my aching body out of my pit. I felt a little better after the warm up but it didn't last long. I hate the smiling girls on the work out DVD, it's nice to have something to focus on. Well here goes the rest of the day, I'm not sure I even have the strength to stand up at the moment.

I've made it through day 2. However I've developed a strange walk, I look like I'm waiting to get both hips and knees replaced. Thank goodness I did my work out first thing this morning, I ached so bad when I got out of bed, if I had felt like that all day then had to do a work out tonight I wouldn't have bothered. On the bright side my aching body has taken my mind off of food! I did manage to take the dog for a walk tonight, although it was more like her taking me for a walk. I sit a lot at work, every time I got out of my seat my legs and butt ached. I nearly asked one of the guys in the office to move the water cooler next to my desk, but that wouldn't have helped as I still had to get up for the numerous toilet trips. I don't think they would have appreciated me asking for a pee bucket! Does anyone fancy popping in to pick up all the kids toys? I don't think I could even bend over for a packet of full fat pickled onion crisps at the moment. Oh well I'm off for a relaxing bath, then it all begins again tomorrow at 6. I've even stupidly promised myself I'll do a session of yoga at lunch time, I must be mad! It's a free class at work, I'm not one to pass up on something that's free.

Day Three

I was dreading getting up this morning so I was pleasantly surprised to find I didn't ache as much as yesterday. It's amazing how quickly your tolerance levels change and you are actually really happy that you ache because it's less of an ache than the day before. The alarm went off at 6 and I actually sprung out of bed, this wasn't down to enthusiasm. If I hadn't sprung up I would have hit snooze on the alarm clock and my work out would never have happened. My hate for the smiling women on the work out DVD motivated me through my session. I feel like punching them in the face but I don't have the energy to lift my arms.

I'm still waiting for the endorphins and joy of exercising to kick in, it might take a lot more exercise to change me from a grumpy old sod to a mad, smiling, crazed exercise freak!

I've made it through day 3 and I managed to fit in a session of yoga and a brisk walk with the dog. I still ache so bad but at least now I can bend over without nearly passing out and I no longer need a winch to get me off the toilet seat. Tomorrow I get a break from my work out, yeah! No getting up at 6, the alarm is set for 6:15 (I know how to spoil myself) I'll still be doing a wee mini work out. This one is supposed to revitalise me, I'll believe that when I see it!

Day Four

Ahhhh finally a rest day. I'm so glad the ache has now gone and I'm now enjoying seeing Allan go through the same pain as he is now doing the same workouts, but he is a day behind me. I had the luxury of a lie in until 06:15, lucky me. I did my allegedly revitalising workout this morning, it was great to have stretch but it nearly put me to sleep, I think the only way I could be revitalised is with a shot of adrenalin. On my rest day I managed to fit in two walks to school, I tidied the whole house (and that was no easy task), chauffeuring to nursery, gymnastics and swimming and I built a fire engine. Don't you just love rest days?

Day Five

Why oh why was today harder? I thought this exercising malarky was supposed to get easier. I hate getting up at 6 and I could have cried through my work out, it was really hard on my arms. I must have a really bad memory, I really struggled with that this morning and I have no motivation to keep doing this. I've crawled back in to bed after my shower and don't want to get out again today. I slept most of last evening on the couch then I couldn't sleep when I went to bed so that probably didn't help. I think I'll put up a do not disturb sign and hide from the world today.

Unfortunately life wouldn't let me hide under the covers today. This dip has taken me by surprise, I was so focused on how much I ached that I never thought about keeping myself motivated. I have a feeling that the motivation barrier is going to be tougher to get through than the pain barrier. My first step on getting through it was changing the time that the heating comes on in the morning. Hopefully a cosier house will be easier to get up to.

Despite my dip I still managed a yoga session and a very brisk walk with the dog, occasionslly she was struggling to keep up with me! My next step will be to not fall asleep on the couch and get a decent nights sleep. I'm off to catch up on a bit of Mr Boreanaz as I missed him last night whilst napping.

Day Six

Well that was a bit better this morning although I'm still not enjoying it. Instead of listening to the annoying music on the workout DVD, I provided my own sound track. I was listening to some excellent tunes on Radio Paradise, if you haven't discovered them yet then check them out. I had a better night sleep, well at least until 4 am. I woke thinking it was time to get up,it's a great feeling when you think it's time to get up and you still have hours to sleep. When you can't get back to sleep though, it's just cruel. My head was thumping as well, I don't think I drank enough yesterday. The work out cleared my head and I'm ready to tackle the rest of the day, I'm going to try to fit in a brisk walk at lunch time.

I've made it through my sixth day and I'm still alive and kicking. Not kicking very high but still kicking! I've even managed to increase my exercise with two two mile walks. I'm so looking forward to a morning without an alarm, it will just be a wake up call from an over excited 4 year old. At least I can get a cuddle from him.

Day Seven

Life is cruel, no need to get up at 6 today but the wee fella decided to shout out for me at 6! I tried to ignore him but he wasn't having it, when I went through to find out why he was shouting he said he didn't know!!!! When I got up to do my workout the house was nice and cosy for a change, I regretted that half way through the workout, who would have thought I would be harping back to the cold mornings. It's a lovely day so I'm hoping to get out in the sunshine with the kids. I may even have a go on my rollerblades, though I don't think I'm ready for a public appearance yet! I'm still not enjoying the exercising, hopefully that will come with time. I do feel like I'm coming down with a head cold but the workout helps to clear it for awhile so there does seem to be a benefit to all this pain.

I didn't get out with the kids as my super neighbour took them for a couple of hours while I did a two mile walk with the dog and put my feet up for awhile. I did get my roller blades on but I still don't have the confidence to go out in public so I wore them while I did my housework.

Week 2

I've survived the week and thankfully today is a rest day which we all need after the dramas of last night when Derren smacked his chin off of the coffee table and put his bottom teeth right through his lip. The weather is rubbish today so we are all having a cuddles and couch day.

Today is weigh and measure day, has this week been worth it? Drum roll please ........ I've lost 4lbs and 3 inches! One of those inches was off my boobs but you can't have it all. I'm more than happy with what I've lost this week hopefully I can keep it up for the next 5.

I fell asleep late afternoon while curled up on the couch with Derren while he watched cartoons. It knocked me for six, I only managed a 20 minute walk with the dog but I did manage to do a 15 minute stretching workout.

My plans for the next week are two two mile walks at lunch time, although I may fail at the first hurdle as I have a server rebuild tomorrow and I need to get the wee fella to the dentist. One yoga session and one pilates session. 6 aerobic workouts. 6 abbs workouts. 7 two mile walks with the dog and 2 school runs. Hopefully I can lose more weight and inches than this week.

Week 3

Well lets start with the positives. I've walked 20 miles this week. I've done 5 hours of aerobics and 45 minutes of yoga. Shamefully I think I've done more exercise in the last two weeks than the whole of last year. I was feeling really positive yesterday and in a moment of madness I signed up for a 26 mile walk from Hampden to Loch Lomond, you can sponsor me here. And if that wasn't enough I also signed up for a 47 mile cycle from Glasgow to Edinburgh. I don't have a sponsor page yet for that, I'll focus on that after the walk. If anyone fancies it they can sign up here.

Sunday is weigh in day and this week I lost 2lbs and 2.5". I'm pretty gutted, I'm hoping this is down to the extra muscle and next week it will be better. I'm finding it hard to get motivated after the weigh in. Next week I'm moving up to the ramp it up DVD which is a 50 minute workout. I still ache so much, how can I still be aching! I think I might need to employ my own masseur. Thank goodness tomorrow is my rest day, which means I get to sleep in until 06.30, I'm so good to myself. I haven't set any goals for next week except to do 6 aerobics workouts as I have no idea what the workout will be like, you never know it might kill me!

Week 4

I survived Ramp it up! I haven't been doing as much walking this week because of the pishy Scottish weather, however I did manage to do 14 miles over the week. It's Sunday morning I have a kids free weekend thanks to Granny and I still got up at 7 and did my workout this morning, I must be mad! However it was Andy Murray that motivated me this morning, I wanted to get my workout out of the way before his match started or I would never have done it today. I did my weigh in this morning and disappointedly I only lost half a pound this week. On the positive side I did lose 2.5". Last week I was disappointed with only losing 2.5" but this week none of those inches were off my chest, yeehaw! I only lost half an inch off my waist but this week I'm trying to be positive, the area just below my waist has a helluva lot more fat so I'm hoping I'm losing more from there. I've not been taken measurements from there so I can't be sure.

Another positive is that I now have realy pretty nails! I know, nothing to do with losing weight or getting fit but you've got to take the positives when you can.

How can you not be motivated with nails like that!

I probably only lost half a pound this week because I had a lovely child free meal out last night with the hubby. Next weeks weigh will probably be worse as I have a girly night out next Saturday plus I will have completed my Dryathlon, god help me! I think I need to up my game this week to counterbalance next weekends madness. So here goes, I aim to do five and half hours of aerobics. 20 miles of walking (i may regret that with the storm that's coming our way!). A yoga and a pilates session and an outing on my lovely new bike. Wish me luck!

Week 5

I'm still waiting for this energy boost that I'm supposed to get from exercising. I think it's passed me by. I have been shattered this week and my favourite place to be is in my bed! I've completed over 5 and half hours of aerobics and walked 22 miles, I didn't get a chance to get out on my bike but maybe next week. Despite the cheescake and wine I had last night while out with the girls, I still managed to lose a pound and 3". Slowly but surely I'll get there. I treated myself to a new pair of jeans, one size smaller than my current jeans! Go me!

I've now moved up to the more intense DVD, called burn it up. It wasn't good planning that my first time doing it was after a night of food and wine with the girls. I hid in my bed for good couple of hours before I plucked up the courage to do the workout. I survived it, just! I'm not looking forward to doing it again tomorrow, especially since I don't have time to hide under the duvet on a Monday morning.

I'm looking forward to lighter nights and better weather. I had a fabulous walk along the prom in the sunshine on Saturday but these dark, cold and windy evening walks are killing me. I would walk so much further if it wasn't for the weather.

I've got only two more weeks on this program, I'm going to have a good think about what I'll do at the end of the program. I'm not going back to my lazy old self but if I don't start getting a boost from exercising I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up the momentum. I've still got plenty of pounds and inches to lose.

I did learn a valuable life lesson this morning. Jumping jacks were not meant to be done when you aren't wearing a bra!

Week 6

All hail the granola bar! Finally, I've found something to give me that boost post workout. Stupidly it was taking me about 2 hours to get round to my breakfast after my work out. Now I snack on a granola bar while I cajole the kids out of bed and to get dressed. No longer am I falling asleep at my desk.

It's been hard going this week on the new DVD, especially on Thursday morning after a late dinner with my boss. All night I kept waking up thinking I can't do this workout my tummy is too bloated. I still did it but I was asleep before the kids that night and I learnt a lesson on when and what to eat in the evening.

This coming week is the last week of my 6 week program, sadly I lost no inches this week and only 1 pound. I hope I'm not stuck in a rut. There's is nothing like working your butt off and seeing no benefit to demoralise you. I certainly feel and look better so again I'm hoping the inches are coming off areas I'm not measuring. My clothes are starting to get baggy and the freak that I am is filled with horror at the thought that I will need to buy lots of new clothes!

I'm going to work really hard this week, I'm determind to lose loads of inches this and I really need to get out on my bike but this damn Scottish weather might have something to say about that.

6 weeks done and dusted!

When I started out on this 6 week challenge I never thought for a minute that I would succeed. Here I am 6 weeks later and I haven't missed one of my aerobic workouts. Plus I'm walking more, cycling and eating healthier. 6 weeks ago I could hardly walk the length of myself, after that first workout I could so easily have given up before I had proparly started. This is not the end though, I need to keep the momentum up and I really need to find a new challenge. The aerobic workouts are great but the getting up at 5:45 to do them is killing me and getting me down. I'm not sure what I should no next. There are aerobics classes in a few places in town but I'm not sure if that's for me. I've considered joining the gym, but again I'm not sure it's me. I think I would need to go with someone else so that I kept motivated. There is local project that are building a rowing boat and are looking for people to join them rowing up the Clyde. Now I'm not a strong swimmer and I hate being cold and wet but this does sound intriguing, I like the idea of working in a team and motivating each other.

Here's the positives from my hard work these last 6 weeks.

  • I'm fitter
  • I'm slimmer
  • I've lost 9 lbs and 12 inches
  • I'm healthier, I haven't had a cold or bug.
  • My skins clearer
  • I've had pains in my thighs ever since I had Derren, they have nearly gone.
  • My cellulite on my thighs has gone
  • I'm stronger
  • I've dropped a dress size
  • My breathings better
  • I can smell. I've had no sense of smell for years, I'm not sure if it's the exercising or healthy eating or both that's made a difference
  • I'm happier

There is always going to be negatives but at the moment there is only one big one that I need to work on, I'm shattered! I really need to find the right ballance of nutrition and exercising. Most nights I fall asleep on the couch and miss my quiet child free time.

 

I'm looking forward to the brighter, warmer evenings coming in. I've still got a long way to go with the amount of inches I would like to lose. It's a bit disheartening when I look down and see the excess fat around my waist but when I look back at the photos of me taken at the begining of this challenge, oh yes there are before photos and boy do they look bad, I feel a lot better. I'm 9lbs and 12 inches better off than I would have been if I had continued my normal lazy life and there is no way I'm putting them back on!

Tuesday 18 December 2012

I've mellowed

I've not watched or read the news since last Friday. It's not that I'm not interested or don't care about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary.  I don't want to think about what happened that day and what the poor families are now going through. I don't want to think about what the children that survived see every time they close their eyes. I don't want to think about how everyone involved have changed forever more. I don't want to think about the fact these wonderful children were in the same class as my daughter. My heart can't take it and I'm thousands of miles away, my only connection to these people are my beautiful children.

The harsh reality of this world is that children die every day, parents bury their babies and need to continue living with an enormous hole in their lives.

My thoughts these past days have been with the families affected by the Dunblane massacre. What must they be feeling hearing this horrific news, all the memories of that day flooding back to them. In 1996 I didn't have any children but I still remember the devastation I felt on hearing the news. This time it's worse, you can't help putting yourself in their place. That's why I don't want to think about it, that may be cowardly but this is my way of coping.

I've mellowed these last few days. Many a morning I have left the house in a bad mood because one or both of the kids have been playing up. On the grand scale of things does it really matter? Does it matter that I repeatedly have to ask Anya to get out of bed? I'm thankful she is here to nag at. Does it matter that Derren wants to wear shorts and welly boots on a cold dry day? I'm thankful he is here wearing inappropriate clothing. Does it matter that Anya has thrown a wobbly about her hair getting brushed? I'm thankful she is here to scream and stomp. Does it matter that Derren doesn't want his teeth brushed? I'm thankful he is here to argue with me. Does it matter that the kids toys are scattered everywhere? I'm thankful they are here to make the mess.

I haven't gone soft on them, they will continue to play up and I'll continue to discipline them where appropriate. I'm determined to raise two polite, well balanced and caring individuals. But there is no point getting angry or upset over minor things. Instead I'll remind myself how lucky I am to have them, give them a big hug then ask them again to do what I need them to do.

When I find that the little things are getting to me I'll revisit this blog and remind myself how lucky I am.


Monday 17 December 2012

Sleeping Angels

From the very day that Anya was born I've always checked on the kids before I go to bed myself. The only exceptions have been on the rare occasion when I've been in my bed before the kids! I love the little moment I have with them when they are sleeping soundly. Occasionally I'll lie down beside them for a sneaky wee cuddle. Derren's a wee angel, when you put him to bed you know that if you went back in to his room 30 minutes later, his bed is exactly where you will find him. Anya on the other hand is a different story.
On many occasions I've found myself in the living room putting my feet up with the contented feeling that both kids are tucked up in bed only to hear a noise coming from Anya's room. Usually as you head down the hall you hear the patter of feet as she charges across her bedroom and dives in to bed. I open the door to find her pretending to be asleep, "Do you think I button up the back?" is my usual cry as I clamber over all the toys she has strewn over the floor. I must admit I get great satisfaction creeping along the hall, then dramatically throwing open the door and catching her in the act. The look on her face is an absolute picture! One evening when I believed Anya had been sleeping for well over an hour I heard a crash and a scream come from her room. I ran down the hall to find Anya on the floor with the contents of her bookcase spread around her. She had attempted to climb the bookcase and the shelves had pulled out sending her crashing to the ground, thank goodness the bookcase was attached to the wall. Things had to change, most nights she was not getting to sleep until over an hour after her bed time. All the usual reprimands were making no difference, so we made a deal with her. She could have a light on for 30 minutes and she could use that time to read a book, draw or play on her leappad. What a difference, after that she was asleep not long after her light was turned off. Don't get me wrong she still gets up to some mischief.
When you check on Derren, he is usually stretched out on his bed with the covers kicked off sleeping soundly, I may occasionaly need to pry a spaceship from his hand. I tuck him back in and give him a goodnight kiss. I'm always curious to know what I'll find when I pop in to check on Anya. What way round in the bed will she be? Will she be on top of the duvet or under the duvet? What will she be wearing? Occasionally she has put a fleecy suit on over her jammies and she is boiling! Sometimes she has extra blankets and again she is boiling. Usually she has a vast collection of cuddly toys taking up most of the bed. I've even came in and found her with her head under the pillow, or if she is the other way round, her feet under the pillow. More often than not she usually has a collections of books and toys stashed under her pillow. How that can be comfortable is beyond me. I found her like this one night, showing her support for Team GB, which did make me smile.


Notice the yellow towel under her pillow, I have no idea why that's there. No matter how bad my day has been or how much the kids have frustrated me it always cheers me up when I see them peacefully sleeping. Although that could be because it's the only time of the day that they can't talk back!
 

Friday 7 December 2012

Dear Santa

Tomorrow my youngest turns 4. For the last couple of months he has been constantly listing numerous things he would like for his birthday or Christmas. It's got to the point that I have no idea what he wants, I'm pretty sure he doesn't either! He announced today that he wants a batman cake, well he's going to be disappointed. I know I'm supermum but even I can't produce a batman cake out of nowhere. Some of his requests have been bizarre, the other week he asked for a Buck Rogers costume! For all you youngsters out there google him. It does worry me though, I know he is only 3 but when and where will it stop. This is one of his favourite toys at the moment and might explain why he wanted a Buck Rogers costume.


His constant babble about what he would like for his birthday and Christmas has made me think about how much your priorities change over the years. So here's my list to Santa.

Dear Santa

This year I have been a very, very good girl. Well I say good, that all depends on how you define good and what your tolerance levels are. Do I have to be good all year? I know you are supposed to be watching me at all times, do you really mean at ALL times? I have enough people (and pets) traipsing into the the bathroom when I'm on the toilet or having a shower that I don't really need any more. I'll soon be able to sell tickets. Lets just say that I've not been evil .. oh OK I was only teasing the kids, honest! Is that not why we have kids? OK, I've been a tired, stressed, working mum so cut me some slack please.

Please can I get (notice how polite I am :)) the kids to turn off the bathroom light when they are finished, a flush of the toilet wouldn't go amiss either. While they are in there it would also be nice if they put the lid back on the toothpaste. I would love it if you could get the empty toilet rolls to magically appear in the recycling bin as the kids and the husband think I'm the only one capable of magic tricks like that.

Can you remove the button from my backside that alerts the kids that I have sat down for 2 minutes of me time?

Can I get a universal remote control? I'm always having daydreams about muting the kids when they go into a screaming match after you have said no to them. And how my life would change if I could fast forward Anya in the morning. No more constant nagging to get out of bed, to get dressed, to eat breakfast, to brush her hair, get her shoes on, ahhh heaven.

Is there a way to stop the kids bringing out a toy if the haven't put the one they were previously playing with away? I'm sure one of your super smart elves could invent something. If not can I have one of your elves to follow the kids round and constantly nag them until they get the right idea?

Can you send my husband on a course that will make him a hairdresser, personal shopper and a masseur?

I would love a device that would make the kids smile and say 'yeah this is exactly what I want for dinner' as they got stuck in and cleared their plates. A personal chef would be great as well .. oh wait, I already have one of them, thanks Al!

Is there such a thing as a device that tells you that there are stains on the kids clothes that won't come out in the wash BEFORE you put  them in the machine and one that reminds you to check all pockets? Especially since Anya has a thing for stones! I've no idea why either. James Dyson has revolutionised the world of vacuuming perhaps if you employed him as an elf he could help.

Can I have a machine that exercises me while I'm asleep?  It doesn't haven't to be particularly quiet as long as it isn't any noisier than the hubbies snoring.

I'll stop now before my requests become ridiculous.

Thanks Santa, I promise to go to bed early on Christmas eve and leave you a glass or two of wine. What the hell I'll leave the whole bottle out for you.

Louise xxx




Wednesday 28 November 2012

Health and Safety Madness!

Winter is coming, today is a beautiful clear, crisp day. Before heading off to walk to school we made sure we were wrapped up warm in our winter hats, scarfs and gloves. On Wednesday mornings we also take my friends son to school, so off we all trotted on the frosty pavements. The kids had a great time, it's amazing what they notice that we now take for granted. I would love to see the world through their eyes. They were amazed by the tiny frozen puddles, the frost on the fallen leaves and even the rubbish that had a frosty glaze.

Their excitement was infectious and it grew the longer we were out. Before we had even left the garden Anya insisted on scraping some of the ice off of my car. Now I'm never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I left her to her fun while I wondered at what age this would no longer be fun.

As we arrived at the school and headed up the stairs to the gate another parent informed us the gate was locked. And sure enough in front of us was an empty frosty playground. So off we headed to another gate and as we arrived there it was obvious that the children were being taken straight into school before the bell had rung. So that was an end to their fun.

We had just walked to school on frosty unsalted pavements and once we arrived at the school the kids were not allowed to step onto the same surface. The world has gone mad! When I was at school you were chucked out into the playground in all weathers. Whether there is a minor frost or not kids will fall and hurt themselves. We can't keep our kids in a protective bubble, I dread to think what the next generations kids are going to be like. Kids need to learn about the dangers that surround them. Next they will be bubble wrapping the railings and replacing the playground with sponge.

I understand the school has a duty to protect the kids. I couldn't tell you how many times Anya has come home with scraped knees and a bumped head. That's what happens with kids and these have all happened on nice dry days. Letting the kids out in the playground when there is a wee bit of frost is not going to kill them! They need to be able to assess themselves what they can and can't do or they will never be able to make a decision when they are older.

Taking away an opportunity for kids to have an adventure on a beautiful winters day is a crime.

A wee update. I picked Anya up from school and the playgrounds had re-opened. However, the areas that have been painted with hopscotch and snakes and ladders etc had been coned off. I could have screamed when I saw them. I absolutely despair! If they were slippery surely they could afford a wee bit of grit to throw on them. Next time I head to school I think I'll stick a bag of salt in my bag

These were taken the last time we had any decent snow in Largs, c'mon the arctic blast and I hope they don't close the school!

Anya loving the sledging.

Derren wasn't a happy chappy, then again he had nearly ended up in the sea when he had a shot on the sledge. Luckily he fell off before he went for a swim.
The beautiful view of Cumbrae.